A Personal Retreat on the ICW

Dateline: Anchored in the Herb River, near Savannah, GA, headed south on the ICW. 

To have finally begun the life that I have been striving for was such a personal milestone; a psychological victory. Further, having spent the last ten days alone on my boat, my mind has had the room to finally open, to rest, and to heal. There are more travel days ahead, but I have already had a quite massive personal realization. 

Motoring through the Carolinas into Georgia on my own has been a busy time. In the last several years, I have been fairly active on social media; often as a distraction from the hard work I was doing to prepare Ruth Ann, my boat, for this journey. The last week or so, I certainly wasn't inactive, but - preciously - the in-between time has been mine. I've been reporting on my journey but I haven't been 'doom scrolling' my news feeds. 

As I slid down rivers, through acres and acres of salt marsh and sweet grass, past little hammocks of trees, surrounded by osprey, dolphins, and other wildlife, my brain was finally free. Free to wander where it wanted to go. My heart/mind came home. 

For many years, really since I formally became a Buddhist, I have struggled to balance my politics and my Buddhism. I've often been noisy online about politics, but doing so left me conflicted. There are at least as many approaches to politics by Buddhists as there are flavors of Buddhism. I've felt compelled to express my political self, but my Buddhist self (ironic) was not always comfortable with how that played out. The two aspects of me didn't always seem to fit together. 

I marched against Monsanto with a group from the Grand Rapids Buddhist Temple. I helped found the West Michigan Buddhist Peace Group, connected with the Buddhist Peace Fellowship, an international organization. I facilitated many of those meetings and I am proud of all that work. It was when I was speaking out, radically and personally, that didn't always feel right. Moreover, I don't think anyone has changed their mind based on something they've run across on social media. The perfectly selfish modes of our media allow people to consume what they already agree with and that which only reinforces what they already believe. And I've grown tired of shouting into the void anyway. 

I have been alone for the last week or so, except for the few times when I've stopped for fuel or laundry. It has been like a personal retreat and I have come to realize that I've been making a mistake in trying to balance my politics and my Buddhism. By setting them as equals in my mind, my focus became the balancing rather than either side. What I've now realized is that by concentrating on the space betweeen I was not focusing well on either the politics or the Buddhism. I also knew right away where I should aim my attention. 

I am a voracious reader and for years I have been studying, in depth, both politics and Buddhism. I could hold forth on either the political economies of the modern world or the life and teachings of Siddhartha Gautama, the Buddha. However, if I don't choose which is primary to me personally, that choice will be made for me. This precious time on my own, relatively disconnected for a time, has made me realize - or realize again - that I am a Buddhist, first and foremost. 

My politics have not changed. I am not taking anything back or regretting anytthing I have said. I am changing my approach. 

I am a Buddhist. To me, the highest form of compassion, the holiest of service to the universe, is to strive to reduce the suffering of all beings. This begins within me, inside my heart/mind, and flowers forth in my speech and actions. This is how I must live my life. It is therefore that I am fundamentally opposed to Capitalism and therefore also fundamentally opposed to both the Republican and Democrat parties. I am just going to shut up about the politics for now and allow myself the space for my politics to manifest, and to influence the world from within my Buddhism. This can only be in the world, of the world, the real world, person-to-person -- the only political influence that matters.